I haven’t slept a wink, every day is like I’m in a fog. There’s this nearly unbearable pressure in my chest, I’ve been perpetually on the verge of tears since I heard the news but I haven’t been able to truly and honestly cry. Now she’s gone and honestly I’m still kind of in shock. She was my twin flame, I have no doubts about that. No matter how bad any fight got, we came out the other side stronger.

Even during the darkest hours of our relationship (and trust me they were DARK) there was never a time when we let the situation make us lose sight of the love and companionship we had. She showed me strengths and weaknesses I could have never imagined I had, and helped me learn to improve on them. We helped each other grow and learn both as a couple and as individuals. I can’t even put into words how remarkable and beautiful she was. We’d only been together for 4 years but in that time she’d shown me what unconditional love truly felt like. 3 days ago on April 18th I suddenly lost my fiancee. These were somehow both comforting and heart wrenching to read. Sometimes I just want to sleep and go away somewhere far and start over but that still wouldn’t solve the aching hole I have in my heart and life. I feel like the world just keeps passing by and I can’t catch the train to continue on this journey. I’ve lost grandparents/friends and other family members but there is just something about losing your mom and dad almost together. My heart now understands what “grief” really is. I am also angry that they passed from Covid as others I have read about. Just celebrated Mother’s Day (1st without my mom) tough. It seems like it never goes away or gets easier. I actually lost my sister (not physically), but as a family member per her request. It is May and I am still having a hard time. Mom passed on Saturday, August 21, dad passed the following Sunday, August 29, 2022. I lost both parents last August 2022 8 days apart due to Covid.

Grief feathers